why go back to college
Written on September 24th, 2024 by Anthony Ponce
One of the biggest reasons for me to come back to school is the fact that I completely failed out of school. I tried to go to school initially out of high school in 2017 and I completely flunked out of it. I tried once during COVID to come back and it didn’t work out either. I didn’t have the confidence or the work ethic to be able to study online on my own.
I wasn’t happy about it and I always felt like I left something on the table. Like I failed myself. I spent all of high school waiting for college to get a fresh start because I knew I was capable but I just never applied myself. I thought once I hit college everything would change on its own somehow. Little did I know that I was setting myself up for failure by not instilling myself with good work ethic and the sense of discipline.
So I started working because well if someone was going to pay me to do something I sure was going to make good on that opportunity.
I worked a number of odd jobs but one of the last ones before I went to school was a manufacturing job. I worked my ass off and realized that it didn’t matter how many numbers I turned in any given day because the next day my boss would just want me to replicate the same numbers or more. I even managed to make supervisor before I left that company. I was only 22 years old working over 40 hours a week wondering if this is really what I wanted out of life. Biggest lesson I learned you’re going to have to work hard in any job so might as well work hard for yourself.
I switched jobs due to being burnt out and I began working at Nike and realized everyone there was either in or done with college.
My conversations would start with, “So what job did you have before this?” then the next question was always “where do you go to school?”
As soon as would mention how I wasn’t in school it would get really weird really fast. So, I would say I was going back soon!
And I felt very embarrassed about it. I was a college dropout.
I started with one class.
An intro to media class where I got an underwhelming C. When I was initially coming out of high school I wanted to initially pursue a degree for film because of my love of writing and having been in theatre all four years of high school.
Although I still love to create videos and edit on my own time for fun I wanted a better future for my family and me. Looking back, I took those classes as a way to finally find closure to a chapter of my life I feel like I abandoned.
In summer of 2022 my father suffered a stroke and it dawned on me that if something were to happen to him I wouldn’t be able to pick up the responsibilities my family would need from me to be able to continue to afford the quality of life my father has been practically killing himself to provide us with.
I began taking engineering classes the following semester in the Spring of 2023 and decided this was my way out of this rat race and be the thing to give myself a new lease on life.
A purpose.
I received my Associate of Science in Mechatronics Engineering Technology in June of 2024. Something I never would have imagined in 2017 when I first floundered my way out of school, a whole 7 years ago. Now I am pursuing my second associate’s in engineering so that I can fulfill my prerequisites required to pursue a bachelor’s in mechanical engineering.
If you notice a lot of my motivations for coming back to school were initially due to outside factors like the fear of being looked at as a loser by coworkers.
The fear of my family passing away without seeing their son fulfill any of the potential that he showed throughout his childhood.
The need to feel like I belong to something.
School changed me. While these motivations still linger, the biggest motivation nowadays for myself is a love of learning and the constant curiosity to see if I can.
There’s this amazing quote that has lived with me since I heard it by George Mallory an English mountaineer who kept attempting to climb the summit of Mount Everest and ultimately died doing so. When he was asked why he wanted to climb Everest, Mallory replied “Because it’s there.”
The challenges I face in school are nowhere near as consequential as trying to scale the summit of Mount Everest, but the emotional and personal growth it’s taking to get to this point is monumental in its own right for me.
I enjoy the challenge that I’m being presented with now and I’ve learned to love all of it.
So to answer the question why am I attending college, I guess I can say because it’s there.
