Am I in the wrong timeline?
Written on November 13th, 2024 by Anthony Ponce
You ever feel like you are in a different place than you’re supposed to be? Like somehow you failed to do what you were really meant to do? I am pretty depressed at this idea right now. I was supposed to be doing a million different things least that’s how I used to see things. Now I am here just switching majors every couple months with some hope that it fixes whatever I think is wrong with me. Should I go back to film classes? I still have this urge to create inside of myself. I just registered for the intro to screenwriting course at SAC. Maybe that will satisfy the urge I have to return to a creative field.
I feel stuck and tired and depressed.
Air Force hasn’t reached out in a while and I’ve been going through the cycle of job interviews and working at my little ass part time job. I have been getting better at my sales numbers and constantly double my goals for the day but that don’t mean I am getting any extra feds. Shit is brutal knowing I am just getting more hours as my reward.
San Francisco State is offering me 12,000 to go out there in the spring and continue studying Mechcanical Engineering. It’s tempting to leave this fucking town for a change. 26 years old. Feels like I am going further and further away from where I am meant to be.
It’s getting old. I am getting old. Still sober. Still pushing. I need a fucking drink so bad.
Anthony Giovannic Ponce. Wonder if she’s thinking about me right now…
