it is what it is
Written on February 5th, 2024 by Anthony Ponce
There are countless stories in soccer where we are left to question what is possible.
A forty yard free kick, a bicycle kick to win a match or maybe just a brillant first touch to pluck a ball out the sky.
Could be that you are a fan of something like Leciester’s unlikely championship run after being promoted where the underdog finally won out.
Perhaps you are a glory hunter and love Man City and that bald man from Barca who’s helping those Saudis ruin this league.
My favorite soccer moment is none of these and is instead the story of Ali Dia.
Ali Dia was a dude who lied his way onto a Premier league pitch by claiming to be related to an actual player named George Weah. He went around smaller clubs with this lie in the pre-internet era shopping HIMSELF around seeking a trial eventually landing on a Finnish side, FinnPa, where he played a few matches before ghosting them. He reportedly was still being paid by the club for the remainder of the contract. 250 euros a week.
He was then found way onto a new team by capping his ass off, ending up at PK-35 for 3 games. VFB Lubeck for 2. And finally Blyth Spartans for one more match.
This terror was all possible off the idea that he was related to someone actually worth a shit on the pitch.
Begs the question, how much is a goal worth to a club?
Back to the point at hand, he buffed this lie up and set his eyes on something bigger.
The Premier League.
This fucker decided he was done dicking around in these lower tier clubs was gonna go big time.
Using the help of some of his friends he hatched a brillant plan far more complex and cunning that his previous farce.
His buddies…. wait for it… his buddies would call and say they actually ARE George Weah. And they are trying to plug in a favor for their cous-
Hey, wait dude that’s the same plan?
Dude, how the fuck did anyone fall for this shit?
He recieved his trial at Southampton and performed miserably. The team captain Le Tisser was quoted saying he thought Dia was a fan or something that must’ve won a radio contest to train with the team or something.
Literal Make-A-Wish shit.
The team was stretched so thin that although he was miserable on a five a side training match, they still brought him on just to have another body on the bench.
They had a game against Leeds coming up and Ali fucking Dia was on the bench for it.
22 minutes in and the Matt Le Tisser gets hurt.
The gaffer looked at his bench and saw nothing but midfielders and center backs.
Except one man.
