sober.
Written on September 7th, 2024 by Anthony Ponce
I’m finally going sober.
It’s been like 36 hours now.
I feel good and bad at the same time. I really don’t know how to describe this feeling. I feel alert and more coherent in my conversations. I spend a lot of my time right now just distracting myself by playing Yakuza Kiwami and trying to remind myself how important it is to quit.
How can I be who I want to be if I can’t even control my urges and emotions. I have let myself numb my mind over and over for the entirity of the past 10 years. I am not here to tell you to quit. Frankly, I don’t give a shit if you smoke every minute of everyday and I kinda envy your attitude but I cannot keep this for myself. I have to discard what no longer brings me results in pursuit of who I want to be.
I have been golfing like fucking crazy this past month and a half. I even got a membership to this place called The Birdhouse where I go and hit balls a couple times a week. It’s an indoor sim and honestly I am in love with the spot. The dude there is really good people and his family is always around to help him out. That’s the kind of American business I want to support. A man took a risk to open a place that he believes in and that shit to me is inspirational. He turned his passion into his career and God blessed us all with this great spot as a result.
I still haven’t broke 100 but I got close this Tuesday at Willowick. I spot a 49 on the front 9 and that is with two MELTDOWNS on holes 6 and 8. I never really recovered from that bullshit and shot 58 on the back 9 like a complete dunce. Fuck it we ball though.
There is the underlying level of confidence and excitement to quit smoking weed. I cannot wait to see what my mind feels like in a month. I woke up today at about 630 and immediately sprang out of bed with no head fog that shit was crazy. I felt my body just thanking me again.
Shoutout CM Punk man, I used to think the straight edge shit was cool as fuck cuz of you but now I am really fucking with it. Also, I stole that coach shit from your Twitter profile and I never told anyone about that besides like Edward lol.